Hello wonderful person,
Thanks for showing interest in learning more about me.
I'm chronically ill with a condition that is usually known as M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelopathy) or C.F.S. (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). There is currently no known cause or cure.
I first became ill when I was about 14 and was diagnosed after about a year, after many, many tests.
Before I was ill I played a lot of sports, both for teams and just for fun, I played in a rock band, I had a large circle of friends, a girlfriend, I was a straight-A student, etc, etc. Life was good!
Within the first two years of becoming ill, I had been forced to give up all of the above, including my attendance to school, as I had deteriorated so much.
Between then and now, I’ve tried and failed to attend college and university numerous times. Each time, I made myself more ill and had to withdraw. I have no immediate plans to try again.
The basics are that any exertion, mental or physical, makes me ill. Sometimes very, very ill. Like, staying in bed all day shivering and sweating, unable to focus on even a film kind of ill.
One of the main problems with M.E., and why it’s often not taken seriously, is because my health fluctuates seemingly of its own accord sometimes. Some days I can function almost at 100% normal levels and others barely 1%.
Regardless, I spend all day, every day, feeling sore and aching. My body can't control its temperature properly, so I'm always either too hot or too cold. Putting any pressure on my muscles exhausts me, including trying to sit straight. However, if I don't sit straight, I get back/neck pains, so there's no winning.
I really struggle with sleep, both getting to sleep and staying asleep. Even when I do manage to sleep, I never wake up feeling refreshed like most people do. I wake up most morning feeling literally sick to my stomach, sore and aching, and like a lead weight is on my chest. What a great start to the day, ay?!
I'm often so mentally exhausted that I feel like I'm underwater and trying to complete basic cognitive tasks is basically impossible. This "brain fog", as it's known, can leave me basically unable to read, write or hold a conversation.
This is why I may seem absent-minded, air-headed, forgetful, drunk, high, etc. sometimes when streaming.
I'm not looking for sympathy, just hopefully allowing some of you to better understand what I'm going through.
If you have any further questions, feel free to ask.