Health and neurodivergence

I live with several long-term health conditions, as well as ADHD and autism. I’m sharing this because these things affect almost every part of my life, even when they aren’t visible. I’m not looking for sympathy or trying to prove how ill I am. I simply want to offer some context—and perhaps help somebody with similar experiences feel a little less alone.

ME/CFS

I became ill as a teenager and was diagnosed with ME/CFS after a long process of tests and uncertainty.

It’s difficult to describe the exhaustion of ME/CFS because it isn’t the same as ordinary tiredness. I feel permanently exhausted, become depleted far more easily than most people, and often feel as though I have the flu. Sleep rarely leaves me refreshed.

Physical or mental activity can make my symptoms considerably worse, sometimes immediately and sometimes later. This means that doing something fairly ordinary can carry a cost that isn’t visible at the time. A productive day, a social occasion, or simply pushing through when I’m struggling may leave me needing a long time to recover.

My health also fluctuates. On a better day I may appear relatively well, but that doesn’t mean the illness has gone away. On worse days, basic things such as concentrating, holding a conversation, sitting upright, or getting out of bed can be difficult.

Pain and suspected fibromyalgia

I also live with constant pain and sporadic flare-ups that my doctors believe may be fibromyalgia, although this hasn’t been formally diagnosed.

The intensity varies, but the pain is always present to some degree. Sometimes it’s a background ache that I’ve learned to function around; at other times it becomes impossible to ignore. Alongside the fatigue, this can make even simple activities surprisingly demanding.

Depression

I’ve experienced depression since my teenage years.

It isn’t always obvious from the outside, and it doesn’t necessarily look like being visibly sad. It can affect my motivation, confidence, concentration, enjoyment of things, and ability to imagine that life will feel easier again. Like my physical health, it can fluctuate—but it has been a significant part of my life for a long time.

ADHD and autism

I was diagnosed with ADHD and autism in my thirties.

Receiving those diagnoses helped me understand many things I had struggled with throughout my life: problems with attention and executive function, sensory overwhelm, social exhaustion, emotional regulation, and the amount of effort I sometimes spend trying to appear as though I’m coping.

The diagnoses didn’t change who I am, but they gave me a more accurate way to understand myself. They also helped explain why some parts of life have always seemed to require far more energy from me than they appear to require from other people.

What this means in everyday life

These conditions don’t exist separately. Fatigue makes it harder to manage pain, pain interferes with sleep, poor sleep worsens concentration, and depression can make everything feel heavier. ADHD and autism introduce their own challenges while also affecting how I experience and manage the rest.

As a result, my energy and abilities can vary considerably. I may be communicative and productive one day, then quiet or unavailable the next. I may forget things, struggle to find words, lose track of conversations, cancel plans, or take longer than expected to reply. None of this means I don’t care.

I’m still interested in making things, learning, connecting with people, and enjoying life. I simply have to do those things within limits that aren’t always predictable—and that other people can’t always see.

Thank you for wanting to understand.